NARRATORS AND CONDITIONAL LOVE

Without awareness, our narrators can play a major role in our romantic relationships by placing conditions and expectations on our partner’s behavior. This occurs every time you hear statements in your head such as:

“My partner should be doing this.”

“Our love is supposed to be this way.”

“My partner must change this for me to be happy.”

All of these statements exemplify love with conditions. Our narrators are the source of these kinds of statements, as they continuously promulgate the beliefs and ideas we have agreed with throughout life about how relationships should be.

Practice

When we judge our beloved through the eyes of the narrators, we miss out on the beautiful person he or she is in the present moment. We get lost in our attachment to what our partner should or should not be, rather than loving them unconditionally.

With awareness, accept the people closest to you exactly as they are. When the narrators speak up with criticism or conditions, simply smile and say to yourself, “No, thank you, I no longer agree with your position.” Commit to showing those closest to you how much you really love them by treating them kindly no matter what the narrators may say.

Living a Life of Awareness

~ Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.