BLAME

When you point fingers at others, two things occur. First, you get stuck in a mindset of blame and its counterpart, defensiveness. Blame is stuck energy, one that creates cynical thinking as you justify your side of the story, your position, your “right” to feel like a victim. It might feel powerful in the short run to deflect some of the burden, but in the long run it is draining and nonproductive.

Second, you make other people responsible for your happiness. This isn’t a responsibility most people want, and it’s also not a reasonable thing to ask, anyway. Making your happiness contingent on the behavior of others is a dead-end road. What you are basically saying is, “When so-and-so changes, I’ll feel better.”

When you give up the habit of blame and take responsibility for your own actions, reactions, and responses, you are free to choose again with a fresh perspective. You will become lighter, shedding the old coat of blame, and step into the light of self-awareness and growth.

Practice

Imagine there is no longer any blame in your world; no finger-pointing and no judgement about what someone else should or should not have done. How would your perspective shift? What new actions would you take if blame were erased from your being?

With awareness, make today a blame-free day.

Living a Life of Awareness

~ Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.