KEEPING OTHERS' OPINIONS IN PERSPECTIVE

Avoiding rejection at all costs is a very common practice in the Dream of the Planet. No one likes to feel excluded or lesser than. For instance, if someone says to you, “I’m not attracted to you,” you have a choice about what to do with that knowledge. You can accept the truth and realize that that person’s opinion has nothing to do with you and has everything to do with that person and his or her particular taste.

Or you can take that person’s preference and use it against yourself to reinforce some negative belief you have about yourself: That person is not attracted to me because I am overweight, I am too short, etc. (Unfortunately, this is the more common reaction.) In this way, you end up valuing someone else’s taste preference over your own; you convince yourself that you are not deserving of your own love or acceptance. The motivation to make improvements suddenly becomes conditional: If I lose a few pounds, maybe he/she will like me better.

Either way, you are making a choice. You can choose to let your self-acceptance be subjugated by another person’s opinion, or you can choose to accept that this person has simply stated what is true for him or her, and that does not change who you are.

Practice

With awareness today, notice when you subjugate your self-love to another person’s opinion. Remember, you can respect the opinion of others without agreeing with them. Say to yourself: “I am perfect in this very moment, and this is my truth.”

Living a Life of Awareness

~ Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.