BEING THE BULLY

When you understand domestication and the role it plays in relationships, you come to understand that an argument is simply an attempt to domesticate another to your own point of view.

Bullying is simply imposing on someone else how you think they should act, think, or be - you’re asserting that your belief system is superior. You assume the role of a movie director in the life of another, telling him or her, “This is the part I want you to play, and this is how I want you to behave.” While we can decide which part we’d like to play in our own life, we can’t make that decision for someone else.

An argument is a byproduct of conditional love.

Practice

When we see an argument for what it is (an attempt to domesticate another to our point of view), it becomes much easier to not have one. The next time you find yourself in an argument, ask yourself: How am I trying to domesticate this person? How will his or her domestication strengthen my ego and sense of personal importance? What belief am I trying to protect?

When we love others unconditionally, we can still disagree, but it is very unlikely our disagreements will become arguments.

Living a Life of Awareness

~ Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.