THE SPACES IN-BETWEEN

“There’s no need to seek the truth - just put a stop to your opinions!”

~ Seng-Ts’an

Just as life is made up of day and night, and song is made up of music and silence, friendships, because they are of this world, are also made up of times of being in touch and spaces in-between. Being human, we sometimes fill these spaces with worry, or we imagine the silence is some form of punishment, or we internalize the time we are not in touch with a loved one as some unexpressed change of heart.

Our minds work very hard to make something out of nothing. We can perceive silence as rejection in an instant, and then build a cold castle on that tiny imagined brick.

The only release from the tensions we weave around nothing is to remain a creature of the heart. By giving voice to the river of feelings as they flow through and through, we can stay clear and open.

In daily terms, we call this checking in with each other, though most of us reduce this to a grocery list: How are you today? Do you need any milk? Eggs? Juice? Toilet paper? Though we can help each other survive with such outer kindnesses, we help each other thrive when the checking in with each other comes from a list of inner kindnesses: How are you today? Do you need any affirmation? Clarity? Support? Understanding?

When we ask these deeper questions directly, we wipe the mind clean of its misperceptions. Just as we must dust our belongings from time to time, we must wipe away what covers us when we are apart.

~ Meditate on what these statements mean to you, and then speak them to a loved one:

~ I appreciate you and your heart.

~ I want the channel of heart to be wide open between us.

~ I make a promise to you that if misunderstandings or conflicts should grow between us, I will share them with you directly and not let them build or grow in a hidden way.

~ I would count the same promise from you as a blessing.

The Book of Awakening

~ Mark Nepo